March 2011
53 posts
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Mr. SAVAGE: I have an interesting story about a priest too, if you want to hear it.
GROSS: Yeah.
Mr. SAVAGE: You know, when I came out to my mom - and I had a similar experience with Terry, where I was ready to come out when I was 16 years old, and I really needed my family's support and needed to stop hiding. And I put it off for a couple of years because suddenly my dad left my mother, and I didn't want to pile on. I didn't want to walk into my mom's bedroom and say: Oh, hey, crying lady on the bed, this'll take your mind off the divorce.
Mr. SAVAGE: So I waited until I was 18 to come out to her. And when I did, she - you know, my mom was terrific and a wonderful woman. And she - you know, she said, she told me a joke, which was, you know, very my family. She said: Oh, I kind of know. And did you hear the one about the two men who attacked a woman in Lincoln Park? Which was kind of the gay neighborhood at the time in Chicago. And I was like: No, Mom, I hadn't heard that one. She said: One held her down. The other did her hair.
Mr. SAVAGE: And then she had her crisis in the following days, where she came back to me and said she was very upset about this and she didn't want any - didn't want to ever meet a boyfriend of mine. She didn't want me to bring any gay people to the house. She really wanted to have me but not have that. And she called a priest, a friend of the family. And my family was so Catholic and so involved in the Catholic Church that priests made house calls. So my mom called a priest, and he came running. And my mom sat with Father Tom, who I'm eternally indebted to, on the porch swing at our house, and said that I had come out and she was very upset and wanted to get me into therapy. And Father Tom put his hand on my mom's knee and said: Judy, I'm gay. And it's better this way. It's better for Danny to be out than to live like I've lived.
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GROSS: Yeah. Dan, what about your stories of being bullied?
Mr. SAVAGE: I was, you know, my parents were very Catholic. My dad was a Catholic deacon. My mom was a Catholic lay minister. I went to the seminary for high school. And I was bullied mostly in middle school, in sixth, seventh, eighth grade. And it was bad, but it wasn't that bad. Ironically, when the project started, I called my older brother Billy, who's straight, to tell him that despite the fact that we were launching this campaign to address anti-gay bullying in schools, I remembered that he had it worse. He was bullied, viciously bullied, in the same school, same middle school that I attended at the same time. We were very close in age. And he had it much, much worse than I did. And he said something very smart. You know, I'd said, Billy - I remember how bad it was for you. Don't think I don't remember that straight kids get bullied too. And he said: Yeah, but at the end of the day, I had Mom and Dad, and you didn't. And that really captures the difference for the bullied straight kid versus the bullied gay kid, is that the bullied straight kid goes home to a shoulder to cry on and support and can talk freely about his experience with bullying at school and why he's being bullied. And Billy was being bullied for being smart. And I couldn't go home and open up to my parents. I did think about suicide briefly, not because the bullying had gotten so bad but because I thought that that would be the good Catholic son thing to do for my parents.
GROSS: Wow, that - to protect them?
Mr. SAVAGE: Yeah, that it would be easier for them to bury a kid than have a kid come out.
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Sometimes I feel like I am Teruyuki Kagawa’s character in “Tokyo!”
Alienated and unable to reach out.
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“I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can...”
– Rainer Maria Rilke
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“There was this one friend who came to me, after asking permission to do so,...”
– Parker Palmer
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Ms. Tippett: ...I think one critique I've heard of how Christian tradition does not help people who are suffering from something like depression is that suffering itself, you know, by some interpretation, it would be said to be glorified. But you're sort of turning that image around in terms of the way you've come to apply it.
Mr. Palmer: Yeah. I am. I mean, I think there's a lot, unfortunately, about suffering in Christian tradition that's hogwash, if I can use a technical theological term. It's awfully important to distinguish in life, I think, between true crosses and false crosses. And I know in my growing up as a Christian, I didn't get much help with that. A cross was a cross was a cross, and if you were suffering, it was supposed to be somehow good. But I think that there are false forms of suffering that get imposed upon us, sometimes from without, from injustice and external cruelty, and sometimes from within, that really need to be resisted.
I do not believe that the God who gave me life wants me to live a living death. I believe that the God who gave me life wants me to live life fully and well. Now, is that going to take me to places where I suffer, because I am standing for something or I am committed to something or I am passionate about something that gets resisted and rejected by the society? Absolutely. But anyone who's ever suffered that way knows that it's a life-giving way to suffer, that if it's your truth, you can't not do it. And that knowledge carries you through. But there's another kind of suffering that is simply and purely death. It's death in life, and that is a darkness to be worked through to find the life on the other side.
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“People walk around saying, ‘I don’t understand why so-and-so...”
– Parker Palmer
(KFTF: I totally get what he said)
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“…it seems to me that who other people are is always mysterious. What I...”
– Andrew Solomon
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“…after you’ve been through a depression, it gives you a different...”
– Andrew Solomon
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“Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp....”
– Résumé - Dorothy Parker
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“The thing that keeps one living is a sense of future – that there will be a...”
– Stephen Fry
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“Although I still do get anxious, I see that anxiety as a useful source of extra...”
– Jim Brown
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“And exercise, I can’t tell you how much walking saved my life. I can...”
– Trisha Goddard
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“I got to the point where I just had to shut up all the voices in my head which...”
– Trisha Goddard
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“Mood to me is like weather. If it’s raining, it’s no good saying it isn’t...”
– Stephen Fry
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“Very sort of black stage at the moment and er … would love to be somewhere...”
– Stephen Fry
(KFTF: Felt like that yesterday morning)
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“It’s horrible to contemplate a futureless future, if that isn’t too impossible....”
– Stephen Fry
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“There comes a time when the blank, the blankness of future is so extreme, it is...”
– Stephen Fry
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-3-27) →
Aimee Mann (87)
Air (43)
ABC (26)
Al Green (23)
ABBA (20)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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“They all think any minute I’m going to commit suicide,” Kate...”
– Kate from “The Moviegoer” by Walker Percy
Still miserable as fuck.
Still reading “Life after god”.
I kinda hate myself now.
I was reading “Life after god” and it made me want to curl up and cry the days away.
Now I am going to give myself another kick in the nut by watching “A single man”.
When I am miserable as fuck, I read “Life after god”.
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“不管後來怎麼樣, 人類在地球上 做過許多浪漫的事 .”
– 蔡康永
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Thupten Jinpa: For example, like one of the kind of memorable things he [the Dalai Lama] has said is that the fact that kind of actions of affection, actions of love and caring, do not make headlines is because we take them for granted, which suggests that we expect people …
Ms. Tippett: As normal.
Thupten Jinpa: As normal, to behave in that manner. The fact that killing and violence makes the headlines is because we don't expect normally people to behave in that manner and, when they do, we are shocked.
Ms. Tippett: We become very confused by …
Thupten Jinpa: Exactly, and he is suggesting that, by not being critically reflective, we sometimes let ourselves driven by headline news and the sad kind of byproduct of that is that people become cynical thinking, "Oh, we're such horrible species." Whereas, he's saying good is the opposite. The fact that they are sensational, that they are news-making, means that somehow in some way we don't expect fellow human beings to behave in those manners. So these kind of things are very powerful actually. I mean, he's questioning many of our everyday assumptions and he's saying, "No, don't take them for granted."
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“…you cannot look at Tibetan Buddhism and say this is religion. For the...”
– Thupten Jinpa
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“Rock and roll is full of Peter Pans. Where’s Captain Hook? And I will...”
– Alice Cooper
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愛人我有心事
但我又找不到你
又再一次吃自己
遙遠的你
如果我跳樓
你也阻止我不及
又再吃自己
無趣得調調料
把自己泡在
鍋裡
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我不相信“那裡” 比“這裡”好一些
需要改變的是“裡面”
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留在這城市
我已有心理準備
日子過得簡單些
看多點書
多點電影
多點音樂
隬補放棄了的
whatever
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我掉了骨氣
挺不起胸口
我爬回我的洞穴
我不想說話
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30＋歲的煩惱
前途茫茫
我覺得有點迷失的感覺
以前的我有信仰的精神安慰
現在的我不知往那裡求救
但這是一個成長的機會
一個鍛煉成大器的良機
我不再將我的責任推去那
長髮有鬍鬚的男人
我已經逃夠了
拿出點勇氣來活出來吧！
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-3-6) →
Wilco (6)
陳綺貞 (6)
Phoenix (4)
Olivia Newton-John (2)
Dusty Springfield (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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